Recovering from abandonment issues and C-PTSD with bipolar disorder

Just because I talk faster than I think doesn't mean I didn't hear and understand you. By all means, tell me I'm not finished, I don't want to talk over you. I'm trying. I'm doing better. I want this to last. Have faith. I will do everything in my power not to miss 2 days …

I’ll never be loved again. That’s a lie.

TLDR; missed medications, withdrawal, new relationship We've spent about 7 or 8 days together now and he still wants me. I stayed up at his house for an extra 2 days for the sake of his doggy and me not wanting to make him drive that hour and back with his herniated discs. That was …

Coronavirus 🦠

Just got off video chat with my dad. I encouraged us to discuss civilly the divided narratives going around and the tomfoolery with that bill. Basically what it comes down to is ethics and priorities and definitely self care. This is a financial AND health care crisis simultaneously, maybe obviously. That's really tough. But you …

Riding this vibe

I'm a fine ass motherfucka at recovery I got this right I'm all right because I been to the bottom and I never imagined I'd ever vibe and be rational at the same time it's some heavy spiritual awakening shit but sorry New Agers I couldn't have survived without my pharmaceutical medicine so you can …

Don’t interrupt the process

I last relapsed 5 days short of a year, and now I've made it to 11 months. I've been trying this for 5 years. Let's not do that again. Alcoholism is lonely. Triggers are temporary. Understand that with bipolar disorder, more than half develop a substance abuse disorder, and if I want to shut off …

Bipolar in order

I have come so far and I'm finally able to really own my progress. I'm proud of Carrie. I stay away from booze, and if I slipped it was for a very brief period. I'm a month and a half away from a YEAR again. I'm still alive. I came very close to taking myself …

To everything there is a season

I can't believe I made it to the other side; I've reached stability. It's kind of surreal. I have accepted that I'll have bipolar disorder for the rest of my life, but as long as I am able to keep up this treatment regimen and as long as I keep staying away from alcohol I …

Highlights from the archive

A comprehensive understanding of bipolar disorder 12 books that have helped my depression Recommended reading on mental illnesses A new diagnosis, a new life The limitations of bipolar disorder Abandonment wounds and the recovery process Love letter to myself Dealing with a triggering world My experience as an empath Hypomania: Personal anecdotes

When it hurts, you write

Here is a collection of poems that have been shared with me, our experience with depression and bipolar disorder. Some of us really can write when it hurts enough. I'll begin with two of mine. Oh, illness you are crushing me Death’s door begs to open for me Brain I cannot handle Strangles my brain, …

📹 VLOG: Living with Bipolar Type 2 (mental health)

https://youtu.be/wB_JHAm7Izw Originally recorded on Jul 5, 2019 Mental illness is a serious, life-long, life-debilitating condition. I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I take appropriate medication every day, twice a day. I don't fall asleep until hours after midnight after I've already worked my head out from underwater. When I …