Mood stabilized

I have only been on Tegretol (an anticonvulsant and mood stabilizer), and my usual Cymbalta, for a week now and have already noticed a dramatic difference in not only my mood, but the way my brain processes information and stimuli.

I mentioned that the back pain I developed at the beginning of the month has gone away. It was so intense I actually went into the ER on the 7th. My primary doctor referred me to an orthopedic specialist but I honestly don’t think that’s necessary anymore. At least not at this time.

I’ve had back pain in the past, and I’ve been to a chiropractor and a masseuse, but as I connect the dots, I seem to think the stress of bipolar disorder had something to do with it.

With the mood stabilizer, the way I drive has changed (read: improved). I am coming to a full stop at stop signs, actually using my turn signal, and I don’t feel like driving the distances I used to.

I ran out of vape juice the other night, and in the past I would’ve driven 30 minutes to an hour to ensure I found some more THAT night. This time, I accepted that it was Sunday and the shops were closed, and that I could wait until the next day to get more.

I haven’t once snapped at my dad for no reason like was “usual.” I don’t get stressed out if my young male cat knocks my open cup over (yeah, it’s annoying but it’s my own fault). I don’t feel obligated to respond to inappropriate messages from guys on dating sites; I just observe and keep doing whatever I was doing.

I really feel like I have my brain back. I know it’s not all smooth sailing from here on out, but for the time being, for the present moment, I feel better. I don’t feel foggy and I don’t feel sedated. I just don’t feel unnecessarily stressed anymore.

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