Teenage poetry

2003 (15 years old)

It eats away the outer layer
Leaving me in the cold
It’s difficult to open my eyes
They’re entrapped in mold
My days have become shorter
My nights do not exist
I bite the dead skin off of me
Something I just cannot resist

The cries of emptiness swim inside my soul
Loneliness, a part of me
For I have always known

Shorter and shorter, until they don’t exist
Swimming and screaming without resistance
Kind of like distance?

Bring your dreams along
For they can do no wrong
Once an innocent wish
Something you’ll never miss
Break away your pain
Feel it in your veins
Drop them all like bombs
For they can do no wrong

Catch the virus in rotation
Throw it up in desperation
Shit the cancer in the dark
Don’t forget to leave your mark
And let it go, let it go

Cancer is a friend of mine
Chew it up, but serve with wine
Steal the venom from the snake
Get your healing out of rape

Chase the embryo down the hill
Chew it like a bitter pill
Clench your stomach, inside out
Watch it escape from your mouth

Would you like some cheese
with that wine?

Hello, my friend, we meet again
Somehow I don’t know how to begin
I’ll offer my hand, then grab your neck
I’ll remind you it’s just my custom

Tear your face and rip your arms
Poke your eyes and kick your thighs
It’s all in good fun

Want to play again?

Continue to laugh right in my face
Spit in my eyes as they dilate
Saliva mixes in with tears
Escapes as milk out of my ears

Paint with my blood all your desires
Grab my breath and start a fire
Throw me in the endless pit
The cramps in my neck throw a fit

The cramps in my face are ugly
The cramps in my legs are weary
The cramps in my back are tired
My breath is as cold as fire

Allow my intestines to explode
Hold your breath; forget your nose
Confusion spins in the sky
An evolution occurs in my eyes

Escape nirvana and meet again
Remind yourself of 7 sins
For once, I wish you’d realize this
Your despair’s my greatest bliss

Maybe you’re familiar with pain
The more I try, the less I gain
Perhaps I’ll be immortal, too
Repairing organs with Elmer’s glue

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