Ultra-rapid cycling

I had suspected I was rapid-cycling bipolar type 2 (four mood episodes in a year), but after analyzing my mood charts from May and June, it looks more like ultra-rapid (four mood episodes in a month).

This explains why it’s been 2 years since I’ve worked, but it doesn’t make me feel any less guilty and incompetent.

I am currently on 60 MG of Cymbalta and 150 MG of Lamictal. I am returning to therapy on Tuesday after a 3 month hiatus, and I see my psychiatrist on the 28th.

Since studies show that bipolar is inherited, it’s very difficult for me to identify whom I got it from because my mother is adopted. I suspect it’s either my late paternal great-grandfather or my mother’s biological mother.

My hypomanic episodes:

Insomnia
Impulsive sexuality
Increased mental activity
Cleaning, throwing out the trash
Exaggerated optimism and self-confidence
Racing speech and/or thoughts
Impaired driving
Listening and singing/dancing to music
Multiple texts and Tweets
Loving and caring, vigilant

My depressive episodes:

Oversleeping (up to 24 hours)
Social withdrawal
Inability to concentrate; indecisiveness
Setting trash in fridge because trash can is full
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or hopelessness
Loss of energy, persistent exhaustion
Unexplained aches and pains
Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Pessimism, indifference
Suicidal ideation