Look. I made it back to my blog. Well, you know, 2020, amirite? Let's look at what's been on my mind. 👩🏻💻 February 10th The reason why, or if you want to know, or if you're curious about how it feels to be stabilized on medication for bipolar disorder, and after finally having worked with … Continue reading Level 33 🎂
I last relapsed 5 days short of a year, and now I've made it to 11 months. I've been trying this for 5 years. Let's not do that again. Alcoholism is lonely. Triggers are temporary. Understand that with bipolar disorder, more than half develop a substance abuse disorder, and if I want to shut off … Continue reading Don’t interrupt the process
25 Signs and Symptoms Of Bipolar Disorder From True Activist (Note: I took the opportunity to edit this article for my blog format so readers do not have to put up with a hundred advertisements and the annoying slideshow) The ability of people to function productively and cope effectively with the rigors of daily life … Continue reading 25 Signs And Symptoms Of Bipolar Disorder (from True Activist)
“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”
I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.
I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.
I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…
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https://youtu.be/1LE0LPBnFfg "Hypomania (literally "under mania" or "less than mania") is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state. It may involve irritability, but less severely than full mania. According to DSM-5 criteria, hypomania is distinct from … Continue reading Hypomania: Personal anecdotes
The last time I saw my therapist, I was talking to her about fragmentation, how there are fragments of myself, subpersonalities that aren't integrated, and she suggested this article about addiction and the Internal Family System. A recent and widespread subpersonality method is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy), developed by Richard C. Schwartz. He … Continue reading Managers, Firefighters, Exiles, and the Self
I'd like to preface this post by explaining that in the midst of a manic (or high) state, there is a marked increase in a flight of ideas. All the thoughts that come into your head seem so significant and there is an impulsive need to either share or document these ideas. Reflecting upon them … Continue reading Manic musings
When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
I wanted to use these articles to help educate both myself and others about this distressing, unpredictable feature of bipolar disorder. It has come to my attention because of the unique state I've been experiencing lately. Sometimes I feel [hypo]manic, then I can be triggered into depression, but I can also experience what seems to … Continue reading Mixed affective state 🎭
So I'm manic right now and it feels like I'm a completely different person. I have bipolar disorder so that makes the intensity of the depression even more so like you realize just how depressed so many people are but they don't want to admit it? Anyway just wanted to document these words right now … Continue reading Manic manifesto