Level 33 🎂

Look. I made it back to my blog. Well, you know, 2020, amirite? Let's look at what's been on my mind. 👩🏻‍💻 February 10th The reason why, or if you want to know, or if you're curious about how it feels to be stabilized on medication for bipolar disorder, and after finally having worked with …

Recovering from abandonment issues and C-PTSD with bipolar disorder

Just because I talk faster than I think doesn't mean I didn't hear and understand you. By all means, tell me I'm not finished, I don't want to talk over you. I'm trying. I'm doing better. I want this to last. Have faith. I will do everything in my power not to miss 2 days …

I’ll never be loved again. That’s a lie.

TLDR; missed medications, withdrawal, new relationship We've spent about 7 or 8 days together now and he still wants me. I stayed up at his house for an extra 2 days for the sake of his doggy and me not wanting to make him drive that hour and back with his herniated discs. That was …

Coronavirus 🦠

Just got off video chat with my dad. I encouraged us to discuss civilly the divided narratives going around and the tomfoolery with that bill. Basically what it comes down to is ethics and priorities and definitely self care. This is a financial AND health care crisis simultaneously, maybe obviously. That's really tough. But you …

Riding this vibe

I'm a fine ass motherfucka at recovery I got this right I'm all right because I been to the bottom and I never imagined I'd ever vibe and be rational at the same time it's some heavy spiritual awakening shit but sorry New Agers I couldn't have survived without my pharmaceutical medicine so you can …

Bipolar in order

I have come so far and I'm finally able to really own my progress. I'm proud of Carrie. I stay away from booze, and if I slipped it was for a very brief period. I'm a month and a half away from a YEAR again. I'm still alive. I came very close to taking myself …

Self love and self compassion

In the right head space, I have clarity, and with that clarity I have much more access to the authentic part of me, my spirit. You would never know, if you knew me in person, just how down on myself I am. But all of these parts of my essence I've compiled are completely true, …

Book: The Anatomy of Loneliness by Teal Swan

The Three Pillars of Loneliness 1. Separation 2. Shame 3. Fear HIGHLIGHTS Part I: The Pillar of Separation "The exact opposite vibration of love is fear." § "There is only one type of pain in this Universe and it is separation; there is only one kind of happiness in this Universe and it is unity." …

More musings from an armchair philosopher

There's no reason not to believe in SOMETHING. Some people believe in love, some people believe in a god or source, some people believe in the paranormal. Maybe I need to watch the X-Files soon. 🤔 We are only distinguished by our mood. 1st Date Question: What do you BELIEVE in? That'll weed 'em all …

Futility and depression are synonymous

https://youtu.be/GGorABGw418 Quotes from the video from Teal Swan "You refuse to cut your losses." [Wow. This might be the best description of depression I've ever seen.] "Whatever you resist, persists." "You're committed to a dead end." "Why would I scream if there's no one near to hear me?" "Basically you're aware that these little things …