Level 33 🎂

Look. I made it back to my blog. Well, you know, 2020, amirite? Let's look at what's been on my mind. 👩🏻‍💻 February 10th The reason why, or if you want to know, or if you're curious about how it feels to be stabilized on medication for bipolar disorder, and after finally having worked with …

Psych history (September 2014 to present)

August 2019 ⬇️ (stabilized) 225 lbs Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 225 MG Remeron 7.5 MG July 2019 ⬇️ (moderate depression) 220 lbs Lamictal 150 MG (twice daily) Trileptal 300 MG (twice daily) Effexor 225 MG Klonopin .50 MG (twice daily, PRN) Remeron 7.5 MG June 2019 ⬇️ (moderate …

Deep thoughts by Carrie

APRIL 13TH Saturday is ruled by the god of Saturn. I was born on a Saturday and I was born under the planet of Saturn. I am Saturnine. And he's a really tough dad. Making others feel good makes me feel good. My friends are used to the fact that I'm a cry baby. Good …

Mixed affective state 🎭

I wanted to use these articles to help educate both myself and others about this distressing, unpredictable feature of bipolar disorder. It has come to my attention because of the unique state I've been experiencing lately. Sometimes I feel [hypo]manic, then I can be triggered into depression, but I can also experience what seems to …

World Bipolar Day

Writer’s block again

It's been a while since I've written and I've decided to try again. I'm still lying in bed most, if not every, day, perusing the Internet, especially Redditesque stuff and true crime on YouTube. I haven't been to therapy since last fall after reaching that impasse in development. I don't see my family, besides my …

Writer’s block

I've been suffering from writer's block for a while, mostly because of the numbness I've been feeling ever since I started taking the antipsychotic, Latuda. It feels like all the remaining life force I had has been sucked out of me. It did its job by silencing any hint of hypomania, though. What it's left …

When it won’t stop raining

I just observed that it's been over a month since I last posted an original writing. This may be the longest stretch of depression, absent of any significant hypomania, since I was re-diagnosed bipolar in April. This, despite the dosages of my medications being increased on a monthly basis. I met someone last night who …

CBD oil and some sense of stability 🌱

"Cannabidiol (CBD) oil is a product that's derived from cannabis. It's a type of cannabinoid, which are the chemicals naturally found in marijuana plants. Even though it comes from marijuana plants, CBD doesn't create a 'high' effect or any form of intoxication — that's caused by another cannabinoid, known as THC." Source: Healthline Hello again. …

Ultra-rapid cycling

I had suspected I was rapid-cycling bipolar type 2 (four mood episodes in a year), but after analyzing my mood charts from May and June, it looks more like ultra-rapid (four mood episodes in a month). This explains why it's been 2 years since I've worked, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty …