Level 33 🎂

Look. I made it back to my blog. Well, you know, 2020, amirite? Let's look at what's been on my mind. 👩🏻‍💻 February 10th The reason why, or if you want to know, or if you're curious about how it feels to be stabilized on medication for bipolar disorder, and after finally having worked with …

Recovering from abandonment issues and C-PTSD with bipolar disorder

Just because I talk faster than I think doesn't mean I didn't hear and understand you. By all means, tell me I'm not finished, I don't want to talk over you. I'm trying. I'm doing better. I want this to last. Have faith. I will do everything in my power not to miss 2 days …

I’ll never be loved again. That’s a lie.

TLDR; missed medications, withdrawal, new relationship We've spent about 7 or 8 days together now and he still wants me. I stayed up at his house for an extra 2 days for the sake of his doggy and me not wanting to make him drive that hour and back with his herniated discs. That was …

Riding this vibe

I'm a fine ass motherfucka at recovery I got this right I'm all right because I been to the bottom and I never imagined I'd ever vibe and be rational at the same time it's some heavy spiritual awakening shit but sorry New Agers I couldn't have survived without my pharmaceutical medicine so you can …

Don’t interrupt the process

I last relapsed 5 days short of a year, and now I've made it to 11 months. I've been trying this for 5 years. Let's not do that again. Alcoholism is lonely. Triggers are temporary. Understand that with bipolar disorder, more than half develop a substance abuse disorder, and if I want to shut off …

Bipolar in order

I have come so far and I'm finally able to really own my progress. I'm proud of Carrie. I stay away from booze, and if I slipped it was for a very brief period. I'm a month and a half away from a YEAR again. I'm still alive. I came very close to taking myself …

“Are You Highly Sensitive and Bipolar?” from Psychology Today

Are You Highly Sensitive and Bipolar? Six essential strategies for coping. By Deborah Ward from Psychology Today, originally published Jul 28, 2017 Highly sensitive people absorb a lot of information from the world around us. Consequently, we can easily become anxious, stressed, depressed, or overwhelmed. Our sensitive nature also means we feel other peoples’ emotions …

Managers, Firefighters, Exiles, and the Self

The last time I saw my therapist, I was talking to her about fragmentation, how there are fragments of myself, subpersonalities that aren't integrated, and she suggested this article about addiction and the Internal Family System. A recent and widespread subpersonality method is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy), developed by Richard C. Schwartz. He …

My experience as an empath

"Please be careful with me; I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way." — Jewel Ever since I can remember, I've been called "too sensitive." "Don't take everything so personally," they'd say. "They" didn't realize I was taking on "them." I was a mirror; I unconsciously reflected who they were back to them. "One …

Self love and self compassion

In the right head space, I have clarity, and with that clarity I have much more access to the authentic part of me, my spirit. You would never know, if you knew me in person, just how down on myself I am. But all of these parts of my essence I've compiled are completely true, …