I'm a fine ass motherfucka at recovery I got this right I'm all right because I been to the bottom and I never imagined I'd ever vibe and be rational at the same time it's some heavy spiritual awakening shit but sorry New Agers I couldn't have survived without my pharmaceutical medicine so you can … Continue reading Riding this vibe
https://youtu.be/SeJt0JJ1vDE Originally recorded on Jul 27, 2019
On 7cups.com, the question was asked, "What does being Bipolar feel like?" These are some of the answers I resonated with most. juhirashOA "I don't think there is an average description for being Bipolar that fits everybody. But mostly, it's a constant battle. You never really understand why you are sad but you keep being … Continue reading Q&A: What does being Bipolar feel like?
“When you first possess me, I thrive. I’m at my best and in my element. All shadows of doubt and depression, of loneliness and weariness fade away. I am reborn, reincarnated, reinvigorated. I am a newer and better self. This is the self that they love. Come, sweet Mania, and revive the dormant self within me that is begging to get out.”
I can sense you long before your arrival. You send secret messages to me taunting me with your distant presence as you inch toward me. Like a sultry lover you take your time, teasing me, flirting with me, sending sweet thrills through my body and mind before dissipating into the night once more.
I know you are there, simmering away, gathering heat and energy, gathering momentum before exploding into my being, overwhelming me and possessing me. Even though I sensed you coming, it still always takes me by surprise once your iron grip tightens around my mind, squeezing out every last essence of my sense and judgement. I still feel shocked when I catch myself in thoughts and acts that you orchestrated, making me perform like your puppet, your plaything.
I crave the reckless abandon. I long for the freedom, the vigor, the sexuality. I yearn for the…
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https://youtu.be/1LE0LPBnFfg "Hypomania (literally "under mania" or "less than mania") is a mood state characterized by persistent disinhibition and mood elevation (euphoria), with behavior that is noticeably different from the person's typical behavior when in a non-depressed state. It may involve irritability, but less severely than full mania. According to DSM-5 criteria, hypomania is distinct from … Continue reading Hypomania: Personal anecdotes
Signs and symptoms Bipolar Disorder is a condition in which people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods in a way that interferes with functioning. Not everyone's symptoms are the same, and there is no simple physiological test to co.nfirm the disorder. Bipolar Disorder can appear to … Continue reading A comprehensive understanding of Bipolar Disorder
I'd like to preface this post by explaining that in the midst of a manic (or high) state, there is a marked increase in a flight of ideas. All the thoughts that come into your head seem so significant and there is an impulsive need to either share or document these ideas. Reflecting upon them … Continue reading Manic musings
I think I exhausted myself somehow painting at the class tonight, because I'm having a mood decline and there's not much I can do about it except try some Klonopin I've stocked up on. Bipolar Disorder just takes you wherever the f it wants to. My body aches. It's so intrusive. I think one of … Continue reading Dealing with a triggering world
When I was 10, I was a Spice Girls fanatic (Geri especially). I was already on the Internet by now. I got into the school spelling bee but forgot the second "t" in otter. I'd always been reading a lot, and well. My brother and I played with the video camera a lot when we … Continue reading Significant times from my past
Sometimes it seems that no matter what I do or say it’s the wrong thing. I mean well, but I feel at times that I am judged unfairly. And feeling that I am just better off being alone
most of the time. I like some people but even the ones I love fall short when I need them. I talk too loud, I laugh too loud, I say more than I should but none of this is on purpose. I am who I am and I can’t change
that. Either accept me and quit criticizing me or just let me be to myself. I thought I had good relationships with my family but I think I am overstating that with a few of them. I can live with myself and I can take care
of myself. Asking for favors is no longer an option with one of my family members…
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